Funny Gambling Quotes

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Did you know that the video game industry could be worth $138 billion by the end of 2018? With all the new technology and products in the works, the growth is not expected to stop any time soon.

  1. Humorous Gambling Quotes
  2. Funny Gambling Jokes
  3. Funny Casino Quotes

This dollar amount is a 13.3% increase from the previous year, totaling a whopping $16.2 billion surge. This includes the sales of traditional video games, mobile games, and eSports.

Playing a one-person storyline? Entering a worldwide tournament? If you're involved in gaming, we're sure you've heard a few funny gaming quotes. Video game makers are creative people with the ability to make us laugh out loud.

Funny Money Quotes. 'Money is like a sixth sense – and you can't make use of the other five without it.' – William Somerset Maugham. 'Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.' – Helen Gurley Brown. 'Money is better than poverty, if. Since young people would much rather play fast-action, rapidly advancing video games, and gambling laws for slot machines and roulette tables haven't changed much since the 1950s, look for casinos to build large video game tournament centers and allow people to bet on the action, similar to betting on college basketball.

We've compiled some of the favorites that are out there right now. You may want to sit down on your beanbag for these.

1. Bad Dudes Only

This 1988 arcade game features two bad dudes vs. the world. And they know they're bad. 'The President has been kidnapped by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?' they ask.

We know they are.

2. The Ultimate Ultimatum

Duke Nukem doesn't seem to understand ultimatums or would-you-rathers. When he gives you an option, it's hard to choose the lesser of two evils. 'There are two ways this can go down, and in both of them, you die!'

No, thanks!

Funny gambling pictures

3. Consider Yourself Lucky

This woman's standards might be a little low. 'If a guy pauses a video game just to text you back. . . Marry him.' So, that's all it takes to be a good boyfriend nowadays? Take notes, gentlemen.

4. Gamers Have 9 Lives. . . or Something

'Gamers don't die. They respawn!' This deserves to be on shirts and bumper stickers everywhere.

5. No, Really. They Have Lots of Lives

'I don't need to get a life. I'm a gamer. I have lots of lives!' More bumper sticker wisdom – for gamers, by gamers.

6. A Tried-And-True Method

Ever looked in on a gaming sesh and felt amazed at the fast click, click, click of the buttons? That might have been for show.

A Will Ferrell parody Twitter posted this hilarious (and true) quote: 'When I play a fighting game, I press random buttons and hope for the best.' Sounds like that's what everyone's been doing this whole time. Brian christopher actor.

7. Age Ain't Nothing but a Sign of When You Stopped Playing Games

'You don't stop gaming because you grow old; you grow old because you stop gaming.' Want to stay young? Pick up a joystick and get to having fun.

8. Sounds like Someone Lost a Lot of Games Growing Up

Well – it might not be fun for everyone. Poet (and non-gamer) John Ciardi says, 'Every game ever invented by mankind is a way of making things hard for the fun of it!' This can be true of some games, but we assume he had some bad luck.

Humorous Gambling Quotes

9. When Games Get Deep, We Can't Help But Laugh

'What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk. . .' Vlad Dracula from Castlevania almost got emotional – but he cut it short.

Funny Gambling Quotes

3. Consider Yourself Lucky

This woman's standards might be a little low. 'If a guy pauses a video game just to text you back. . . Marry him.' So, that's all it takes to be a good boyfriend nowadays? Take notes, gentlemen.

4. Gamers Have 9 Lives. . . or Something

'Gamers don't die. They respawn!' This deserves to be on shirts and bumper stickers everywhere.

5. No, Really. They Have Lots of Lives

'I don't need to get a life. I'm a gamer. I have lots of lives!' More bumper sticker wisdom – for gamers, by gamers.

6. A Tried-And-True Method

Ever looked in on a gaming sesh and felt amazed at the fast click, click, click of the buttons? That might have been for show.

A Will Ferrell parody Twitter posted this hilarious (and true) quote: 'When I play a fighting game, I press random buttons and hope for the best.' Sounds like that's what everyone's been doing this whole time. Brian christopher actor.

7. Age Ain't Nothing but a Sign of When You Stopped Playing Games

'You don't stop gaming because you grow old; you grow old because you stop gaming.' Want to stay young? Pick up a joystick and get to having fun.

8. Sounds like Someone Lost a Lot of Games Growing Up

Well – it might not be fun for everyone. Poet (and non-gamer) John Ciardi says, 'Every game ever invented by mankind is a way of making things hard for the fun of it!' This can be true of some games, but we assume he had some bad luck.

Humorous Gambling Quotes

9. When Games Get Deep, We Can't Help But Laugh

'What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk. . .' Vlad Dracula from Castlevania almost got emotional – but he cut it short.

10. Rhyming Game

AI computer system GLaDOS – from the Portal game series – is still working on her poetic instruction. 'There's no use crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying until you run out of cake.'

If you want to be right on the edge of figuring something out and erupting in tears, Portal's your game.

11. A Little Sentimental. . . but Only a Little

'You're more important than my sword. . . but just a little.' Angeal from Final Fantasy VII is like Vlad Dracula. He almost got sentimental – until he cut it short with a disclaimer.

Oh, you were feeling special for a moment? Apologies.

12. 'Only a Jackass Can Change the World'

Then we'll be jackasses! Unless this boss from Final Fantasy X-2, Auron, has something to say about it.

13. Well, That Sucks – A for Effort

You can't help but laugh at poor Mario. In Super Mario World, you go through quite a bit of effort, only to have Toad reveal: 'Thank you, Mario! But our princess is in another castle!'

Wonder 4 slot machine. Keep playing!

14. Rhyming Game Pt. II

Duke Nukem is a little better at making sense when he rhymes (sorry, GLaDOS). 'Mess with the best, you will die like the rest!' he says.

15. Harry Potter and the Boy Who Called Fake Bingo

J.K. Rowling doesn't think we care to know if Harry and the crew play online bingo or not. She says of the series: 'People ask me if there are going to be stories of Harry Potter as an adult. Frankly, if I wanted to, I could keep writing stories until Harry is a senior citizen, but I don't know how many people would actually want to read about a 65-year-old Harry still at Hogwarts playing bingo with Ron and Hermione.'

Imagine Hermione walking in the door saying, 'I got lucky twice last night!' But a quick look at a time-turner will reveal she was only talking about winning a few rounds of Bingo.

Funny Gaming Quotes: You Either Get Them or You Don't

Call of duty modern warfare mac download. If you're talking to your seventy-year-old boss, they may not understand your humor. But if you're talking to one of the 2.21 gamers worldwide? Then we're sure you'll get a laugh or two discussing these funny gaming quotes.

Sometimes these quotes miss the mark. Sometimes they're a little grammatically incorrect. But that makes them all the more fun, funny, and interesting. And sometimes a little awkward.

Just ask the creators of Pokemon X – many gamers couldn't help but screenshot this sale of Poke balls: 'Don't you love the feel of nice smooth balls in your hand…' That's one way to word the question! https://mosbch.over-blog.com/2021/02/omniplan-pro-3-12-3-cylinder.html.

If you're a fan of quotes – gaming or otherwise – we've got you covered! Check out our blog for more funny inspo.

Gambling has been enjoyed by mankind since before the written record of history. Now that's quite some time. So, with it having been around for so long, it's had plenty said about it, and we're revealing to you some of the best gambling quotes from across the years.

We've got some downright funny winning quotes, others are more morose, others still are insightful, and the rest? Well, they may just offer you a new way of thinking.

Here's a quick look at some of the greatest quotes on betting ever said (or written).

Eat your betting money but don't bet your eating money.

Who doesn't love a good ol' play on words? Especially when their simplicity reveals such profound wisdom. The idea is simple and just as relevant to your prince as it is to your pauper. Go wild with the winnings you get from gambling and spend it how you please, but don't put the money for your food and rent into a bet.

The best throw of the dice is to throw them away.
– Italian Proverb, 1790 (first recorded in writing).

Popular amongst those who don't like gambling or risk-taking. And, as Italy was, and still is, very Catholic, it's no shock that they claimed this proverb. You never know where the dice will land, and this proverb asks why you should bother trying your luck.

The appeal and temptation is acknowledged, after all the dice are already in your hand, but you can still walk away. You lose the chance of a potential win, but you can be certain you'll suffer no loss. Gamblers prefer to live by, 'nothing ventured, nothing gained', and give themselves over to Lady Luck!

In a bet, there is a fool and a thief.

The cold light of day shone on any bet. A harsh approach, it suggests that the winner, the thief, lured in the innocent fool and robbed them.

While there can only be one winner, usually the bookmaker or casino, and the odds are stacked against the gambler, it's all in the name of fun. If you go in knowing all this and set limits, it's hard to call you a fool.

A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way.

Author of the great American novel, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain made a lot of money from his successful writing career but after a couple of disastrous investments had to file for bankruptcy.

A man after our own hearts, he says that it's always sweeter to make a dollar on a great bet than to earn it through grafting on a hard day's work. Maybe it's because of the thrill of the win, the risk involved, and the instant gratification. Or maybe it's the glamour and because we didn't work for it. Either way it feels like easy money. Free money. And that's worth celebrating.

By the way, if you're wondering, 'Faro' is a card game that was very popular in the 1800s until it was later surpassed by poker. Roblox player.exe installer.

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

An American humorist, cartoonist, and journalist, Kin Hubbard always got his point across by making us chuckle. And the above quote is no exception. He plays with literal meaning, yes your wallet will have more of a bulge, but his point is clear.

There's no risk involved in folding your money over once, so it's safe. But if you are looking to double your money, you need to step out of your comfort zone.

The guy who invented poker was bright, but the guy who invented the chip was a genius.

Using chips in casinos is probably how so much money gets bet in each game. When you win big, you know about it and you are literally rolling in it, but when you want make a bet, it doesn't seem like much to put down a few chips. Especially the chips with higher value.

The guy who invented the chip worked out that this simple trick meant way more people would part with more money. It's like spending with a credit card. When there's no hard cash involved you lose a sense of the value.

Of course, another advantage is that it keeps games organized, and with chips being thrown around from player to game to player, they need to be durable, the kind of durable that paper money lacks.

A gambler never makes the same mistake twice. It's usually three or more times.

Terrence Murphy has written a lot about gambling over the years, and his alter ego, VP Pappy, is quoted across many gambling magazines. His observations about gambling tend to be insightful yet tongue-in-cheek, probably borne from his own experiences, and the quote above ticks those boxes.

We've all been there, believing with all our being that THIS roll is the one. And when it's not, it's the one after that. Or the one after that. And it goes on. But this doesn't have to be your fate! There's more than enough strategic information out there to make sure you're playing your games of choice the right way.

Funny Gambling Jokes

I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle.

A funny gambling quote from a much-loved comedian. Mitch Hedberg's deadpan style appealed to audiences across his short-lived career and poked fun at everyday observations. He became something of a cult icon before his premature death.

Just like this quote, he used a lot of one-liners with snappy punchlines to get the laughs.

Funny Casino Quotes

You know, horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.

Will Rogers was a Hollywood star of his time and led the field in political wit, and used his great sense of humor to entertain the public. This quote takes a direct approach, but the joke is still pretty funny. Funny and true as it ridicules us for our ways of having fun.

If there weren't luck involved, I would win every time.

Known for being temperamental amongst other fellow famous gamblers, this professional has got himself the nickname of 'Poker Brat'. But with that fire comes talent, he's won a record 14 World Series of Poker bracelets over the years, winning loads of money along the way!

We can see from his success that he's very skilled and, from what he says above, might not be so lucky. Little caesars on grand. That's the beauty of games like poker, though. A mixture of strategy and luck will get you that win meaning that players with less ability might actually win against those with all the know-how. With luck thrown in, you never know what will happen and that's what keeps players coming back over and over again for more.





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